Fuel Family Profile

Foreword: "Fuel Family Profile" is a new section of EFI (Joanna's interview of Paul Judd (Fuel Founder) in EFI 3.3 was a precursor to FFP). This section will be a more in-depth, get-to-know-you-better type of interview. Since "Fuel Family Profile" was Michelle's idea, she might as well be the first person that is interviewed. I am sure that no one in Virginia Fuel realizes some of the wild things and experiences that Michelle has done in her life. She's been to almost 1600 concerts...1600!!! And you thought YOU were a road dawg! She's seen at least one show of every U.S. Metallica tour including the Kill Em All days, the Ozzy tour, and the Justice tour. She's also done some freelance writing for Circus, Kerrang and Rip magazines. When 99% of us were picking our nose in grade school, Michelle was hitchhiking to shows, sneaking backstage or on a tour bus and occassionally seeing a band member naked. With that said, let's get started...

Front row at the Washington, DC show (Oct. '04) - front row: Jen, Michelle and Lauren
back row: Joanna (behind Jen), Andy (behind Michelle and Lauren) and Jimbo (far right)
(picture courtesy of MetOnTour.com)

VF: So Michelle, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? What do you do? Things like that.

MH: Hey Fuelers! I just want to give a few shout-outs to my Gal Pals - Joanna, Jen, Amy, Lauren, Dawn, Kim, Gina and Joie! You all have made the FUEL experience so freaking cool! I was completely nerdy about joining because of the guy/girl ratio of members, but everyone in Fuel is so cool. I've had a wonderful time at every Fuel event. Thank you all! It's quite a trip for me to most Fuel events, living out in the sticks of the western part of Virginia. But, I'm used to driving long distances to everything! Even work. I was born and raised in Craigsville, Virginia, about 50 miles south of Harrisonburg, where I work. Yep, that's 100 miles per day on my car, just for work. But, I love working at James Madison University in the alumni magazine office. I am a JMU graduate and I have my weekends off for CONCERTS and NASCAR events! Loud music and fast cars, babee!

VF: So, obviously you are a die-hard Metallica fan like the rest of us. Tell us when you first became a fan of Metallica.

MH: November 13, 1983. I was in the parking lot of the Roanoke Civic Center after a show featuring AC/DC and Aerosmith. I was a junior in high school and about 120 miles from home - remember I live in the sticks. There's not one stop light in Craigsville, much less a record store. So, I'm in the parking lot and I keep hearing this great song from a car a few spaces over. My older cousins who brought me to the show are ignoring my high-school ass and I start following the sound. I trade my brand new Aerosmith "Rock in a Hard Place" t-shirt for a cassette tape that turns out to be a bad copy of the "No Life Til Leather" demo. I'm hooked! My cousins give me a few whacks about the head for wandering off and scaring the shit out of them. Of course, they didn't realize I'd been gone until a few hours later. So, when it comes time to head home, I'm beggin' my cousins to stay in Roanoke overnight, so I can find the record store the next morning and buy Kill Em All - with all the persuasion of a new Met Metal Head! They didn't listen, and a true Metal Head was born. I stayed in the parking lot just knowing I'd find a ride to the record store and a ride 120 miles home...and I did! (My, how times have changed! I'd be scared to death to try that now!)

MH: My cousins (all boys) got in more trouble for leaving me than I did for hitching a ride 120 miles home with two metal strangers. I was smart enough to hide my new Kill Em All record from my dad when I got home, so it didn't get taken away as punishment! The hitching-a-ride to and from shows theme would become prominent for me - the "new" metal head, who lived in the sticks.

VF: When was your 1st concert?

MH: Led Zeppelin in the summer of 1973. I was almost 8 and never the same! Jimmy Page is a God!

VF: When was your 1st Metallica concert?

MH: December 30, 1983 at the Fountain Casino in Aberdeen, NJ. Metallica opened for Raven. I hitched a ride with my older cousin (Jerry) on leave from the Marines. Jerry had only one ticket. We had to sneak me into the show. Buy me a beer one day and I'll tell you how we did it! All I'll say now is that I saw a naked member of Raven!

MH: You have never heard "Seek & Destroy" with the same anger as from those early days. I will never, never, never forget hearing "Seek & Destroy" live for the first time. God, it was awesome! They also played Hit the Lights, 4 Horsemen, Phantom Lord, Ride the Lightning and No Remorse. Of course, I was hooked on Metallica from then on!

Master of Puppets Pick

VF: Okay, I owe you a couple of beers. Please elaborate about how you saw "a naked member of Raven"? Or are you going to save that story for your book?

MH: OK, OK, you dragged it out of me. HA! As I said earlier, I was with an older cousin who was fresh in from the Marines, (stationed in Germany). Since we couldn't find a ticket to scalp outside, we came up with an elaborate plot. We separated near the front doors and Jerry began running up to security saying that he'd "lost his little sister." Being a rather large 27-year old Jar Head, his great show of "fear" scared the living hell out of security. They began rallying the troops around Jerry, and I was able to sneak past all of them on the far side of the entranceway. They were all consoling my cuz, and they were in a state of panic. By the time I got deep inside near the stage, there were so few security people, that I was able to sneak backstage. As soon as I opened a hallway door, there stood a very naked Mark Gallagher (guitarist for Raven) with a half-naked blonde. I don't know who was more startled, but a roadie eventually grabbed me and escorted me back to the stage area. He was nice enough, though, to give me a backstage pass. I didn't catch back up with my cuz until outside after the show, and he WAS in a state of panic by then. So, he did what all older cousins and siblings do - he gave me a whallup up side the head and stole my backstage pass. Hey, I might have been a wild child, but I wasn't taken on no Marine! HA!

VF: How many times have you seen Metallica?

MH: 48

1. 12/30/83 Aberdeen, NJ
   
   
2. 1/13/85 Baltimore, MD
3. 1/28/85 Columbus, OH
   
   
4. 4/9/86 Cleveland, OH
5. 4/16/86 Landover, MD
6. 5/4/86 Memphis, TN
7. 8/1/86 Charleston, WV
8. 8/2/86 Columbia, MD
9. 8/3/86 Hampton, VA
   
   BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE
   
10. 6/10/88 Washington, DC
11. 6/12/88 Boston, MA
12. 6/15/88 Pittsburgh, PA
13. 6/18/88 Pittsburgh, PA
    
    
14. 11/19/88 Columbus, OH
    
    
15. 2/19/89 Greensboro, NC
16. 3/1/89 East Rutherford, NJ
17. 3/2/89 Bethlehem, PA
18. 3/4/89 Pittsburgh, PA
19. 3/11/89 Norfolk, VA
20. 7/9/89 Charleston, WV
21. 7/11/89 Pittsburgh, PA
22. 7/28/89 Landover, MD
23. 7/30/89 Richmond, VA
24. 8/9/89 Roanoke, VA
    
    
25. 12/1/91 Cleveland, OH
    
    
26. 3/9/92 Nashville, TN
27. 3/11/92 Roanoke, VA
28. 3/31/92 Richmond, VA
29. 4/2/92 Landover, MD
30. 4/4/92 East Rutherford, NJ
31. 4/10/92 Hampton, VA
32. 6/25/92 Raleigh, NC
33. 6/28/92 Columbus, OH
34. 7/3/92 Cleveland, OH
    
    
35. 2/26/97 Roanoke, VA
36. 4/9/97 Landover, MD
    
    
37. 6/27/98 Charlotte, NC
38. 6/30/98 Va. Beach, VA
    
    
39. 1/1/00 Cleveland, OH
40. 7/1/00 Rockingham, NC
    
    
41. 7/12/03 Philadelphia, PA
42. 7/18/03 Landover, MD
43. 7/26/03 Chicago, IL
44. 8/28/03 New York, NY
    
    
45. 4/24/04 Roanoke, VA
46. 4/26/04 Norfolk, VA
47. 9/24/04 Columbus, OH
48. 10/17/04 Washington, DC

VF: Which band have you seen the most?

MH: Aerosmith (mostly back in the good old days, and OK, some of the newer junk) - 56 times.

Other biggies that I know numbers:

• Lynard Skynard - 39 times
  
• Ozzy - 36 times
  
• AC/DC - 34 times
  
• Van Halen - 32 times
  
• KISS - 26 times
  
• Loretta Lynn - 25 times
  
• Guns & Roses - 24 times
  
• Led Zeppelin - 22 times
  
• Conway Twitty - 22 times
  
• 38 Special - 21 times
  
• Elton John - 20 times
  
• Black Label Society - 19 times
  
• Ralph Stanley - 18 times
  
• Nazareth - 18 times
  
• Pantera - 18 times
  
• Linkin Park - 15 times
  
• Ricky Skaggs - 13 times
  
• Marshall Tucker Band - 12 times
  
• The Clash - 12 times
  
• Nirvana - 12 times
  
• Judas Priest - 11 times
  
• Motley Crue - 11 times
  
• System of a Down - 9 times
  
• TLC - 9 times
  
• Soundgarden - 9 times
  
• The Ramones - 8 times
  
• ELO - 8 times
  
• Motorhead - 6 times
  
• Dean Martin - 3 times
  
• Black Sabbath - 1 time
  
  

As you can tell, I love ALL kinds of music. My best friends tease me that I just work for ticket money.

VF: So, let me get this straight. You've been to over 1500+ concerts? Exactly how many concerts have you been to?

MH: 1,595 and counting. No joke. I'm going to see Kenny Chesney next week for 1,596, and I have all the ticket stubs. I know, I know...I'm a nerd.

VF: Are you going to do anything special for concert #1600?

MH: It's funny, I've never really known when actual special numbers have happened, except 1,000. That was Tesla and I got drunk off my arse. A ton of my tickets are in frames with pictures and passes and pics and memorabilia. I go in "fits" and "starts" on filing, framing and counting my tickets. If they don't -- immediately after a show -- get framed or put in a scrapbook, I put them in chronological order in a basket in my bedroom. At the end of each summer, I usually pick up with the counting, and they either get framed, scrapbooked or thrown in the big old pickle jar that houses the ones that have been "counted." So, usually I miss "anniversary" type numbers, until I'm actually counting tickets.

VF: Since you have all of your ticket stubs, have you ever counted how much money you've spent on concert tickets? What was the cheapest ticket? The most expensive ticket?

MH: Too scared to! I probably would have a down payment on a fine-ass house in all that ticket money! But, hey, I've got the memories ... and the scars!

MH: There was a long stretch when tickets were $10, then $12.50, then $17.50, then $22.50, then TicketBastards (TicketMaster) came along and ruined the world. I guess my cheapest tix were "free" from sneaking in to clubs in the old days or getting free passes. I spent two days on an Aerosmith tour bus, before the tour manager found out that I was only 15. No jealousy, ladies, Joe Perry had left the band at that time!

MH: Most expensive ticket: I won't say what I paid a few years ago to see the Rolling Stones. I guess I'm still doing some really stupid things!

VF: Hmmm...almost 1600 concerts. Do you wear earplugs to the concerts? If not, your hearing must be terrible.

MH: I wear earplugs sometimes. Depends on the venue, how deep in the mosh-pit I am, and my general attitude! HA! But, yes, my hearing is getting bad. I'm in huge denial, thanks Jeff for reminding me! :)

MH: I use the "nod and smile" method a lot. I think I actually embarrassed myself in front of fellow Fueler, Dawn, when we all met at Joanna's house to drive to Philly in 2003. I think she asked me about driving 120 miles to Roanoke to see Rob Zombie's movie, but I didn't hear the first part of her question, and I said, "no." But, I did drive that far for a movie! I love horror flicks. After the conversation continued, with others in the room talking about the movie, I realized that I'd not heard her actual question, I was too embarrassed to say that I didn't hear it. I'm such a dork. Sorry Dawn!

VF: Do you think you'll ever stop going to concerts even when you reach your 60's and 70's? Do you have a certain number of concerts that you want to reach, like "I want to reach 2000 shows and then I'll quit."?

MH: Quit!!? Hell, when I'm 70 I want to start my own rock band! That's my retirement plan, Jeff!! Seriously, I never thought about it. Can you imagine when our generation is in retirement and nursing homes - the "muzak" playing on the elevators will be bands like Metallica!

VF: Out of your almost 1600 concerts, ever go to a concert and see a band or musical act that was just horrible and then say to yourself, "I'll never see that band again!"?

MH: Hmmmm. I saw Aerosmith one time when Steven Tyler was too high to sing. But that didn't stop me from coming back for more. I really lucked out with Guns & Roses. I was only at two shows where Axel threw a "hissy fit" and left stage. My favorite part of the "Year and a Half in the Life" video is when Jaymz is making fun of Axel ... and well, Kirk in his red undies. Sorry fellas. I guess I've never swore to "never see a band again." Everybody has a bad night now and then. I saw Hank Williams Jr. get pissed-off after two songs and throw a beer at a fan and then flash the whole crowd with his .... ummm, hum-dinger.

VF: What bands are your favorites (other than Metallica, of course)?

MH: Depends on the day of the week and decade. HA! OLD Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Black Label Society, Pantera, COC, Anthrax, Nazareth, Motorhead, Foreigner, Bruce Springsteen, Linkin Park, OLD Ozzy, Van Halen, Andrea Bocellli, Judy Weiss (yes I love opera), Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner, Ralph Stanley, Johnny Cash, White Stripes, 38 Special, Judas Priest, Missy Elliott, Ludacris, 50 Cent, Foo Fighters, POD, almost anything!

VF: You've seen Aerosmith the most. Are they your #1 favorite band, or is Metallica your #1 favorite band? Or do you even have a #1 favorite band?

MH: METALLICA, babee! The number of times that I've seen Aerosmith is deceiving. Even though they've been around longer than Metallica, I haven't seen them since 1988! I mean it when I say I love the EARLY Aerosmith. I LOVED Joe Perry. I could stay up for days arguing that Joe Perry, Eddie Van Halen, Kirk Hammett and/or Jimmy Page is "the best" guitarist ever. I would have seen Led Zeppelin the most times if they had come to the East Coast more when they were together. Well, maybe Black Sabbath, if I was just a little older and they'd been more available to me. Anyways, I'm sure as long as Metallica keeps going, they will eventually be the "most seen" band among my ticket stubs.

VF: Do you have any favorite or memorable concerts that stick out in your mind?

MH: Gosh, there are so many great memories. Rocking the rail with Fuelers is ALWAYS fun! But, in the summer of 1977, I saw Led Zeppelin at the Patriot Center. I was 11. I went into that arena thinking "like most 11 year old girls do" that boys had cooties. After standing as close to the stage as possible and watching Jimmy Page I think into "Dazed and Confused" - I decided that boys were cool and well, a few other things entered my mind. After the show, I talked my cousin into picking a verbal fight with a roadie who was loading the bus. With the distraction, I was able to sneak onto the bus. I was discovered pretty fuckin quick, but I was on there long enough for the memory of a lifetime. As a roadie had me in a headlock dragging me off the bus, Jimmy Page says, "brazen fuckin pisser!" and throws me a t-shirt. That "Houses of the Holy" t-shirt is framed and the centerpiece of my living room.

My "Houses of the Holy" t-shirt before it was framed

VF: Is there any band(s) out there (past or present) that you haven't seen in concert and wanted to?

MH: I would have loved to have seen Black Sabbath more than once. I would have LOVED to have seen Jimi Hendrix, and I would kill to have seen the Rat Pack (Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr and Peter Lawford) when they RULED Vegas. Not old enough for these; I guess that's a good thing.

Laminate from the Damage Inc Tour

VF: So you've seen Metallica back in the early days? For Metallica's younger fans, describe Metallica back in 1986 when they opened for Ozzy.

MH: I feel so OLD! But, those early shows were hella exciting. I mean, pre-1986, it was small venues and a reach-out-and-touch-ya vibe. In '86, you still had the reach-out-and-touch-ya vibe from the stage-set, but it had become a honest-to-god production. The Master stage set-up was mad-cool. Lars was on a small stage by himself with steps for the guys to jump on, fall on, head-bang on. Cliff could put you in a trance with his head-banging (and his playing was just indescribable). He was so fucking cool to the fans, too. He was incredibly smart. I have a H.P. Lovecraft novel that he signed for me. Lovecraft is a horror writer. I think that is something that Kirk and Cliff bonded over. They were both really laid back, calm and loved horror genres: Cliff, literary; and Kirk, movies and memorabilia. OK, way off track, there. Sorry!

(from left to right) Jaymz (w/ broken wrist), John Marshall (filling in on guitar) and Cliff
August 1, 1986 - Charleston, WV

MH: The best memories from 1986 are that "small-family-WE-are-Metallica" feel. I mean if you were down front, you were fucking DOWN FRONT. Your stomach or boobs were crushed up against the stage and you could touch the equipment. It was so fucking hot, and Master of Puppets was so different than anything out there. I mean it was Ozzy's tour, but we chanted "Metallica" and "Master" so loud and so long after Metallica left the stage, it took Ozzy 45 minutes to take stage after Meallica in Charleston, WV (8/1/86) and the same thing happened in Hampton, VA (8/3/86). John Marshall played guitar at both of those shows because Jaymz's broke his wrist in a skateboarding accident. They pelted Jaymz with birthday love in Hampton (Jaymz turned 23) and then ended the show with Damage Inc. I didn't want it to end. It's hard to describe that place in time. You were so overtaken with Master of Puppets. The music, the stage set up, the fact that Metallica were approachable. You could still find out where they were staying, sneak backstage if you were lucky; it was an amazing fucking time. At the time I didn't realize, but I'm so grateful now that I got to see shows with Cliff and got to meet him.

(from left to right) John Marshall (filling in on guitar), Cliff, Jaymz (w/ broken wrist), and Kirk
August 3, 1986 - Hampton, VA (Cliff's last US show)

VF: So you've met Cliff? How did that happen? Have you met any other member of Metallica?

Cliff Burton during the Puppets tour

My favorite picture of Cliff

MH: OK, so back to Cliff. He was the coolest person on earth. He was so talented and so smart and so calm and laid-back and such a gentleman. A lot of those traits that you see in Kirk, I think he got some of them from hanging with Cliff. Hmmmm. I'm not sure how much detail to divulge, but I'll say this. When I was a pre-teen my mom worked the front desk of the Holiday Inn in Martinsville, Va. My parents were divorced, so I only saw my mom in the summer time. She had to take me to work with her at nights, because she couldn't afford a babysitter. She'd let me hang out behind the check-in desk, when I'd behave. One night, for being a good trooper, she made me a Holiday Inn badge with my name on it. I hung onto it forever. I still have it. Anyways, in January 1985, when I was a sophomore in college, a short skirt and my Holiday Inn name badge got me ... got me ... mmmmm...let's just say, it got me way, way past security.

Holiday Inn Badge

VF: Tell us about the Justice tour.

MH: OK, before getting into Justice - the Monsters of Rock 1988 tour was fucking awesome! RFK Stadium in Washington, DC on June 10, 1988 - Van Halen, Scorpions, Dokken and Metallica. DAMN! I also saw the Philly (6/11/88), Boston (6/12/88) and Pittsburgh (6/15/88) Monster of Rock shows. One of the best summers of my life - right after graduating college.

1988 Monster of Rock pass that Michelle
"stole" off a really rude mosh-pitter in Ohio

MH: Justice was killer (Nov. 1988 to Oct. 1989). Queensryche and the Cult opened for Metallica (two bands that are some of my favs). And since I was new to the workplace, I was literally working for ticket money! The set lists for Metallica nearly doubled. They had become freaking huge. Roadies doubled, security doubled, security fences at venues were coming in vogue. Even though as fans you felt a little pushed away, you were so much pulling for Metallica. Cliff was gone and you wanted to love Metallica even more, because you felt the pain of a missing brother. It's hard to describe. I think Metallica sensed the fans' love, because like I said, you weren't hearing 6 or 7 songs; you were getting 15 and a bass solo and a drum solo and a Kirk solo. They also did this Deep Purple set of like 4 songs. God it was righteous. Doris and the Damage stage set was amazing, but I'd rather have the Master of Puppets stage setup and the ability to touch the stage! But, I still want my 15-17 songs, damn it! "Greedy bastards" as Lars says.

Kirk and Jaymz rocking with Doris - February 26, 1989 - Charlotte, NC

VF: So you've talked about the Puppets tour with Ozzy and the Justice tour. What about the early-early days (1983-1986)?

MH: God, I could go on for days. I consider myself really, really lucky to say that I've seen at least one show from every U.S. tour that Metallica has done. I mean, I barely made it with "Kill 'Em All for One." I think that tour went into three shows in January 1984, and I made the next to last show of December 1983.

MH: I don't know if any other Fuelers saw the Jan. 13, 1985 Coast to Coast show in Baltimore, but damn! "The Call of Ktulu" live. I'll never forget the energy and rawness. Actually being one of the few females in the early crowds was kinda scary at times. This was one of them. Jaymz was on fire. "Creeping Death" was haunting that night. I remember hating W.A.S.P, so I couldn't wait for Metallica, and the crowd agreed. Guys were moshing and going nuts hitting each other. I got a black eye just for not getting out of the way of an elbow fast enough.

MH: It's really hard to look back 20 years and give a good description of early shows. I mean my mind is flooding with the "what ifs." What if I had known Cliff wouldn't be around much longer? What if I'd known just how big Metallica was going to be? I think I would have appreciated Metallica's music even more. I do remember "Ride the Lightning" blowing my mind, until "Master." That was the shit. When 1986's MOP came out, there was nothing like it. I mean nothing. I drove all the way to Roanoke to buy it because the sorry-ass record stores in Staunton and Harrisonburg (closest to my home and college) sucked!

MH: One thing that I do remember from the early, early days is trading shit in parking lots before and after shows. It was a thrill to find anyone who had some of those hand-written fan letters from Lars. I actually possessed two of them for a brief time, but was too stupid to hang on to them. Ya know. What if? Sorry to go on and on, but it's a hard question to answer.

VF: Okay, we've heard a rumor that you were featured in an article in Kerrang magazine? Is this true?

MH: Ah rumors! Ha. I was never featured, but I did a little freelance writing. Sorry if I miscommunicated that to anyone! I had a few items published in Circus, Kerrang and Rip. Whew! God I really feel old now. I've been writing for 17 years now, so it's a little embarrassing to look back on some of that early stuff. I mostly got intern-type assignments - calendars, short blurbs, etc. I scanned one old piece from a 1987 Circus that I will share with you guys. It's on Jason Newkid after he joined Metallica. My short piece is part of the magazine's old "Front Pages" column.

One of Michelle's articles - Circus Magazine 1987
The blurb about Jason was written by Michelle
(click on any picture for a larger view)

VF: We've noticed that you have many Metallica license plates. How many Metallica license plates do you own? Do you just get new license plates from the DMV, then change them just so you can keep the Metallica license plates?

MH: HA! I've been outted. I'm officially a nerd. I have 32 Metallica plates from 17 states. I've had three on my car as "actual" plates, but in Virginia, you can also purchase "sample" personalized plates through the DMV. I"ve had "several" made. I use them as a wall border around my kitchen. I've also given one to Jaymz with my Fuel buds in attendance! I've gotten my non-Virginia plates through trading with eBay friends in other states, trading at concerts, trading with Met clubberz, and...ahem..."stealing" a few at concerts. Yes, kiddies, in my youth, I was a force to be reckoned with. :)

[Ed. So, if you have ever had your Metallica license plate stolen in the 1980s or 1990s (at any of the shows listed above) it was probably Michelle!}

VF: You are writing a book? Please explain (i.e., how it happened?, when will it be finished?, etc.)

MH: I kept telling my friends all these concert "escapades" with my cousins from my youth - like sneaking backstage at 38 Special, Metallica and Ozzy, among others - meeting Cliff, getting on the Led Zeppelin bus, hitchhiking 120 miles and more for shows, and much more and I kept hearing back: WRITE A BOOK. So, I've started. I think it's a unique concept: in each chapter, describe a cool concert escapade and give the life lesson learned or other lesson. So far, it's called: "1,596 Ticket Stubs".

VF: So, the more concerts that you go to, is the title of your book going to change (i.e., "1,597 Ticket Stubs", "1598 Ticket Stubs", etc.)?

MH: I'm trying to decide. When I first started writing and researching, I was at 1,583 ticket stubs. For some reason that has a nice ring to it, for me. But, I guess it would make sense to use whatever number I'm at when I finish the book. Not anywhere close to finishing, either!

[Ed. How about "1600 Ticket Stubs...and counting"?]

VF: Are you going to try to get your book published by nationally, locally or just print them off at your local Kinko's?

MH: I'm going to shoot for the moon for a national publishing house. (A girl can dream!) I mean, I think it will connect with a large population of metal heads and hard rockers. And, it won't have any "hoochie mama/groupie" entries, either. I don't want to publish THAT kind of book. Anything close to that kind of entry will be written with a "cautionary tale" kind of feel, because yes, I've done some really, really stupid stuff in my youth. I know it's hard to believe it to look at me now, but I was a complete nut back then. And, by the time I was 12-13, I could pass for 18 and older, because I was 5-foot-10.

MH: Thank god for some "fatherly" roadies and tour managers. I mean, can you imagine a kid hitchhiking 120 miles the day after a concert to get home! I hope their parents would rake them over the coals - IF they make it home. Man, I was stupid!

VF: Not to reveal too much from your upcoming book, but you mentioned that you have sneaked backstage at a Metallica show(s)? Can you tell us about that experience?

MH: I've made it backstage 12 times for Metallica via Met Club passes and trading other stuff for passes. SNEAKING backstage was seven times (all prior to 1989). By the 1991-92-ish, "Black Album/Wherever I May Roam" tour, security was way too professional to beat!

MH: Yo! I gotta save some stuff for the book! But, I hope Jeff will let me publish a few mini-chapters in future EFI issues!

[Ed. HELL YEAH!]

Backstage with Kirk, Jaymz and Cliff
Do you think they are drunk?