Electronic Fuel Injection

You Might Be a Metallica Fan If You...

Adam Liang (allmetallica.com)

Note: I came across this on a Metallica fan website and thought it was hilarious. When I first read this, I kept thinking to myself, "Yup, I do that...Yup, I do that, etc." Credit goes to Adam Liang from allmetallica.com. Be sure to check out their website, it's a very cool Metallica fan website.

- Chapter Head Jeff

In the spirit of good fun, I thought I’d rip off a certain comedian’s trademark and use it as a test so you, the reader, can finally determine if you are a huge Metallica fan. Maybe you think you’re a casual fan, now’s you’re chance to find out. So, I present “You Might Be A Huge Metallica Fan If…”

  • You could have sworn that book you were reading said “Metallica” and not “metallic.”
  • You write out the names of Metallica songs to kill time.
  • You’ve contemplated on more than one occasion what songs a Metallica greatest hits album would contain.
  • You’ve tried to explain why Metallica isn’t satanic at least once.
  • You air guitar in the shower.
  • You’ve used James’ onstage mannerisms in your daily life.
  • There are more pictures of Metallica in your room than of your family.
  • You dedicate a folder in your hard drive specifically for all your Metallica items.
  • You can draw the Metallica logo without looking at a picture.
  • You know why Kirk puts tape on his hand.
  • You cannot stop yourself from commenting when you hear Metallica in a social situation…even if you’re in a room full of strangers.
  • You’ve been referred to as “That guy/girl who likes Metallica”
  • You feel compelled to grow mutton chops connected to a moustache.
  • You feel obligated to mention that there were four albums that came out before The Black Album.
  • The word “Napster” fills you with anxiety.
  • Your bootleg collection exceeds the number of albums Metallica has actually released.
  • You’ve done a school project on Metallica
  • You’ve ever gone to a music shop specifically looking for Dunlop Green Tortex guitar pics.
  • You hate Dave Mustaine, but can’t spell “Megadeth” correctly.
  • Every one of your friends mentions it when Metallica are performing near your city.
  • You know how to pronounce “Ktulu”
  • Pushead is your artistic role model.
  • You know what “Mouldy,” “Plod,” and “F.O.B.D.” are.
  • Your first thought when you think of “S&M” is “Metallica.”
  • You knew that James sang in South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut
  • You visit a Metallica fan site.
  • You own a Metallica fan site.
  • You write columns for a Metallica fan site!