The Frayed Ends of Sundance

I want to stay another day in Park City to see "Fab Faux"!!!

• When the MetClub announced that they would be doing a contest for 2 free tickets to the Metallica show in support of the movie, "The Darwin Awards" at the Sundance Film Festival, I figured "what-the-hell" and I entered. George and I agreed that if either of us won tickets, we would take the other. Of course, neither of us actually thought we would win. But low and behold, the Monday night before the show (on Wednesday night), I got an email from the MetClub saying I won 2 tickets to the show. Oh Shit! Nothing like planning a trip with only 2 days notice.

• Hmmm...Sundance Film Festival? There's potential for some creative celebrity photo taking. We'll see what happens...

• After our flight into Salt Lake City, we saw a guy holding a sign that read, "Steve Wiig" (NOTE: Steve Wiig is Lars' assistant and a friend of mine). This guy turned out to be a limo driver, and when he saw us walking towards him, he said, "Steve Wiig?" I was very tempted to say 'yes'. But I chickened out and said 'no'.

• Moments later we spotted Steve walking around the airport. George said that the guy next to him kind of looked like Lars, so we checked it out. And guess what? It was Lars! We caught up with them and asked Steve, "Are you Steve Wiig? Can I have your autograph?" I guess you had to be there to appreciate it. Lars was in his usual "disguise" (baseball cap). No one recognized Lars except for a couple of other MetClubbers who happened to be on the same flight as them.

• We later learned from those MetClubbers that Lars flew coach from San Francisco to Utah. It's not everyday you see a multi-millionaire fly coach.

• We met up with our friends - Laura & her mom and Super Ron & his friend, Kristen. Since our party was now 6 people instead of 2, I had to upgrade our rental car. I chit-chatted with the rental car agent, and mentioned that we were in town for the secret Metallica show at Sundance. Long story short, we got upgraded to a Hummer. Up yours P Diddy!!!

This is probably the first and last time I will ever drive a Hummer

• The show was at a place called Harry O's. Even though there was no sign that read, "Harry O's", we found the place rather easily. We just looked for the place where people were standing in line outside in the freezing cold. Fortunately, we smuggled some beers to keep us warm while standing in line.

• While standing in line, we heard shouts of "Hey, there's Pierce Brosnan!" or "Hey everybody, look! It's Lindsey Lohan!" or "There goes Jennifer Anniston!" Of course, those shouts originated from Laura and myself. No celebrities sightings yet! Rats!

  
  
  WTF???

• It seems these days that no Metallica concert would be complete without some drama about standing in line before the doors opened. This show was no different. For some reason the guest list could not be located, so Metclubbers, VIPs, etc. couldn't get their tickets. But, people who already had tickets got to go in first. We ended up worrying about nothing, because when we eventually got in, all of the MetClubbers got up front near the stage very easily.

• Harry O's was set up like your typical concert hall - U-shaped VIP balcony on the 2nd floor, GA on the floor, bars to the side and back-middle. However, there were no barricades up front. This should be interesting...

Guess who is playing tonight?

• Metallica was a tad late. The meet-n-greet, which I won a pass to, was suppose to start around 10:15 pm-ish. Well, we ended up having the meet-n-greet around 11:15 pm. Keep in mind that the show was suppose to start at 11:30 pm. We did the meet-n-greet in Metallica's dressing room instead of some random hallway. It actually turned out to be very cool since there were only 10 MetClubbers there. Also backstage was Peter Mensch and Marc Reiter from Q-Prime.

"Hello, my name is Lars."

• When Lars came out for the meet-n-greet, he asked where everyone was from. I yelled out "Virginia...Virginia Fuel!" Lars kind of gave me that "you-came-all-the-way-from-Virginia-to-see-us" look. He asked me how the chapter was going. I told him everything is going well. I also told him we tried to get Eric Nielsen to come to the show, but Eric was "retired" and was getting married this summer, so he's busy. Lars just smiled and very sincerely told me to tell Eric "hello". Very cool!

• I told Jaymz that 12+ months between touring was unacceptable. I needed my Metallica touring fix!!! He just laughed. He asked me if I went to the Rolling Stones shows. I replied, "Uh, no vacation time + reserved seating + high ticket prices = I can't come."

• I mentioned to Rob that my very first concert was when Suicidal Tendencies opened for Queensryche (Fall '91 @ the Norfolk Scope), so it was ironic that I finally got to meet him. (NOTE: I was there only to see Suicidal, Queensryche sucked!) This was the first time I ever met Rob. He is as cool as you would think. I asked him about the possibility of getting "Shortest Straw" or "Frayed Ends of Sanity" into the setlist, and he said he would love to play those songs live, but had to convince the other guys (motioning towards Jaymz) to agree to play them. We'll see...

• One cool thing to mention, I got Kirk, Lars and Jaymz to sign my S&M program from the shows in Berkeley, CA (April '99). I had already gotten Jason's and the late Michael Kamen's autograph.

One of my prized Metallica possessions

My pitiful attempt at looking mean

Of course, I had to get "dressed up" for this special show

It looks like I smelled a fart

Damn it! Camera was out of focus

• After the meet-n-greet, I tried to make my way to the front of the stage. I couldn't get all of the way to the front, but I got close enough. More on this later. The setlist was pretty much what you would expect, but I didn't care. It had been 14 long months since I'd seen Metallica live, so no complaints from me.

• This show was one of the rare times that "Fade to Black" and "Sanitarium" was played at the same show.

• Hearing "Last Caress" was pretty cool. I hadn't heard that song played live in a while.

• I'm still not a fan of Metallica finishing with "Seek & Destroy", but pretty much the entire place was singing along, so it turned out to be cooler than I thought.

  

• I didn't see ANY celebrities!!! After the show, I left the venue fairly early, so I missed out on seeing the only celebrity sighted - Wilmer Valderrama (Fez from "That 70s Show"). So, he's the only celebrity we saw! La-dee-freakin-da!

• Lars dedicated the show to Chris Penn, who had died the day before, which at the time we didn't know about. (NOTE: Chris Penn, brother of Sean Penn, was in the movie, "The Darwin Awards".)

• We finally got back to our hotel around 3 am. All of us except for Laura's mom was on east coast time, so it was actually 6 am for the rest of us. We were all walking zombies by that point. All of our flights were leaving early in the morning. Super Ron and Kristen's wake up call was at 4:30 am, so they only got an hour and a half of sleep. We were a little more fortunate, our wake up call was only at 5:30 am.

Don't tell Eric...:)

WARNING!!! Below is what will most likely be the only editorial thing you ever read from me. I typically leave my thoughts on controversial Metallica topics to myself (Napster, selling out, new fans vs. old fans, etc.) But, there is something that I have to voice my opinion on that came to a head at the Sundance show. You may not agree with my thoughts, so you don't have to read this. You've been warned.

I've been to many, many heavy metal/rock concerts over the past 15 years. They've ranged from general admission shows at indoor arenas to outdoor stadium shows to reserved seating at amphitheater shows to small, intimate club shows where everyone is packed in like sardines. I know all the proper moshing etiquette (if there is such a thing). And believe it or not, I've been in a few mosh pits in my day. I've seen some of the most heavy and thrashing bands out there. I've been in "friendly" mosh pits (311, Korn, etc.) and been in "every-man-for-yourself" mosh pits (Slayer, Pantera, Sepultura, etc.). And one thing that has always ticked me off ==> people that are up front (near the stage) at heavy metal general admission shows that DO NOT belong there. Not to sound sexist, but a majority of these people are female. Now, before all you ladies send hateful emails to me, not all of these people are females. There are some males too. This editorial thingy is not about saying who should or should not come to a concert, or anyone's right to enjoy a concert, but rather who should NOT be up front near the stage at a general admission heavy metal concert. Hey, if you want to be up front at a Hootie and the Blowfish concert, then rock on with your badself! However, if you decide to be up front at a heavy metal concert, don't be surprised when you get pushed.

Being up front at a heavy metal concert is not a place for the timid or weak. Sometimes in can be vicous. I have seen some females "hold their own" up front, but not many. You have to expect to be pushed, kicked, sweated on, and sometimes even kicked in the head by a crowd surfer. I've gotten plenty of battle scars over the years. It's even rougher up front at concerts when it's (1) at a small venue; (2) a heavy metal band is playing; and (3) it is very hot in the venue. Why am I saying this? Well, let me explain.

At the Sundance show, a female, who was obviously NOT a Metallica fan, almost ruined my night. After the meet-n-greet, I tried to get up front near the stage with my friends - George, Laura, Super Ron, Joie, etc. I got as close as I could without being a dickhead. I could have pushed my way up front and been a total jerk, but I didn't. During my trek up to the front of the stage, I would always say excuse me and try to be as polite as the situation would allow. Of course, I got remarks like "Get the fuck out of here!"; "We were here first!"; "You should have waited outside in line, like we did!"; "Hey, man! Don't fucking touch my wife!" (Note: I accidently touched some drunk biker's wife. I apologized, but he must have assumed I was making a move on his wife. What I really wanted to say was: "Drink another beer, dude! Believe me, the way your wife looks, not many guys would want to touch her!") Anyways, I'm thinking to myself, okay no big deal. I'm tall and can see over everybody. Plus, once the show started, people will start to move around anyway. Then, I'll make my way up front.

I really and truly HATE the people that decide to go up front at a heavy metal concert and don't expect to be touched or bumped into. God forbid anyone touch them! After all, this is only a general admission show at a small club with no barricades...and oh yeah, some band named Metallica is playing. And the look these people give you once the moshing/pushing/etc starts. They look back at you and give you the "don't-push-me-look" or "how-dare-you-touch-me" look. WTF?!? NEWS FLASH: You are at a HEAVY METAL concert in a SMALL CLUB and METALLICA is playing. It's GENERAL ADMISSION seating, which means there are NO SEATS. Metallica tends to play some FAST songs, so there may be some MOSHING or PUSHING.

Well, I had the pleasure of meeting the most hateful, the most pyscho person ever. After the first couple of songs, I happen to get behind this female. By that time, it was very hot and humid and the crowd was pretty rough (for a Metallica show). As you know, once the pushing and moshing start, you really cannot control where you end up or who you happen to push or touch. I guess this female thought it was my master plan to torment her the entire show. After the first incident, she turned around and cussed me out for pushing her. I believe her exact words were "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" and "STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!" I eloquently tried to explain to her that I wasn't pushing her. This type of stuff happens at concerts, especially at a general admission Metallica show. But for some reason, she didn't quite understand what I was saying.

It dawned on me that maybe I should move somewhere else. I didn't come all the way from Virginia to deal with this. So I moved...but apparently not far enough away from the pyscho beast. As the pushing and moshing continued, she turned around and sought me out to cuss at me some more. Remember, I moved away from her, but I was still in her general vicinity. At that point I was convinced she was on some type of drug and/or drank way too much alcohol. On a funnier note, I was not the only guy to be on the receiving end of her wrath. Some poor schmuck "touched" her too. Poor bastard. Of course, when I saw that happen, I had to chime in with a very sarcastic, "Hey, it wasn't me!" I don't think she liked that too much. :)

I then repeatedly told her to "Enjoy the show!" I asked her several times "Have you ever been to a concert before?" Oddly enough, I didn't get the response that I was looking for...only more "STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!" and "LEAVE ME ALONE!" My only option at that point, was to just enjoy the show, which I did. And I should add, I was sarcasticly lip synching the lyrics to the Metallica songs right in her face! HA HA! However, at some point soon thereafter, she decided to try and rip my shirt off. My one and only S&M METALLICA SHIRT! If it was any other shirt, I probably would not have cared as much.

Now, I'm a pretty mellow person and can put up with a lot of shit from people. But, look out if you fucking piss me off! This was probably the closest I have ever come to hitting a female. I could have easily just knocked the shit out of her. One punch to the face would be the end of my problem. But, my desire to not come all the way to Utah and miss the Metallica show, as well as being arrested, overcame my desire to knock her out. I will give her one thing - she had a kung-fu death grip on my shirt. I could have smashed her wrist and made her let go, but again - miss the show + get arrested = maybe I shouldn't hit her. As I pulled away, she ripped my shirt more and more, so I decided to take it off. After that, she let go. Ahhhh, problem solved...stupid bitch! She almost ruined my shirt. The key word here is almost. Hey, if you're reading this, you pyscho hose-beast, I got the shirt fixed! Eat that bitch!!! :)

Moving on...having my shirt off must have been an invitation for her to attempt to injure me. She started to punch me in the back. The punching actually felt like a massage. So, I told her to rub my shoulders too. Once she noticed I don't hurt too easy, she attempted to belittle me (with words I won't even repeat here). Of course, that was unsuccessful. Thoughts of knocking her ass out seemed so tempting at that point, but I kept somewhat calm. I even dared her to punch me in the face, which she did. I guess those days of being a hard-headed kid (as my Dad claims I was) actually paid off because she packed very little punch. :)

As I expected, she couldn't take being up front for that long because of the humidity and all the "unnecessary" pushing/moshing. Metallica only played for a little over an hour! So, she ended up leaving. Afterwards, I tried to find her because I would have love to gotten a picture of her. Damn it!

Okay, that's it. I'm done. I vented my frustrations. Whether or not you agree or disagree with me, feel free to express your opinions on the Fuel listserve, Fuel Message Board (FMB) and/or the next issue of Electronic Fuel Injection (EFI).

Note to self: I liked Metallica shows a lot more BEFORE all this high school popularity drama bullshit started (i.e., How many shows have you been to? What's your PPM name? I've posted over 2000 posts on PPM. Jaymz touched me. Oooh, I'm special! I've been a Metallica fan since back in the day...you know, since Sandman came out.) Oh well, that's a topic for another day....

Jeff Holland
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