When the KFMA Day show was announced, it was a no-brainer that I would be going. Sure, Metallica had announced the Boner-ooh show already, but at the time they announced KFMA I was thinking that it would be the only other show they'd be playing in the U.S. this year. As it would turn out "no-brainer" would be an apt theme for the trip, only not quite how most people interpret the term.

Day Before...

After flying into Tucson with Big Jeff and grabbing a rental car, we set out to find ourselves a nice restaurant to get a decent dinner, after traveling all-day and not really eating anything worth mentioning. Tucson is a big city, and it was only around 9 PM, so how hard could it be to find a good restaurant? Fast-forward about 30-45 minutes later after driving up and down the streets of downtown Tucson. That's right, we finally found a restaurant. It was a classy establishment by the name of McDonald's. On the outside of this fine establishment we were greeted by a nice man requesting spare cash. Once inside, we got to experience another nice gentlemen talking to...no, make that yelling at...his losing lottery tickets. After eating what was supposed to be food, we headed back to the car as fast as we could go, but it wasn't fast enough to avoid another nice gentleman who appeared out of the shadows to ask us for cash. After jumping in the car and locking the doors, we headed off to our classy hotel.

Day of the show...

All complaints aside, there was a really awesome park with tons of trails and paths to run on a few blocks from our hotel. And there was almost zero humidity to speak of. After catching a nice run and enjoying the fabulous free breakfast that only Howard Johnson's could whip up, we headed to the Pima County Fairgrounds. The drive to the fairgrounds was eerily reminiscent of the ending of the movie Se7ven, so Jeff and I weren't totally convinced that we weren't actually driving to our deaths, instead of actually going to a concert. We stopped at the "last gas station for X miles" and grabbed some Gatorade. The girl at the counter wanted to know if Virginia Fuel was "some kind of energy." Jeff, naturally responded with, "Something like that." She hooked me up with $1.00 32-oz. Gatorades, though, so it was all good.

All the crazy Metallica fans. See me on the far left drinking my Gatorade?
(Picture from KFMA.com)

Another picture of crazy Metallica fans - Where is Jeff? (Answer: taking a piss!)
(Picture from KFMA.com)

Getting into the fairgrounds actually required driving around them for what seemed like 20 minutes. When we finally pulled into the parking lot there were only a few people in line. We got out and hung out for what seemed like an eternity. We met some cool dudes from L.A. who had camped out there since midnight the night before. There were a couple of other guys from Phoenix who arrived right after then dudes from L.A. There were a few clubbers from Vegas hanging out, as well. When they finally opened the gates, we had a fairly long haul to the stage which I always enjoy. I started running with one of the dudes from L.A. toward the stage. We were the first ones down there, so I let the other dude in front of me, since he camped out at midnight. We all ended up with prime center-stage railspace, and pretty much everybody who had been in line early got a good spot, so it seemed that all was right with the world.

(Picture from KFMA.com)

The first band that came on was called Chipotle or something. They were basically "college music" pretty boys who were trying to sound heavy. They weren't utterly horrible, but they were mildly annoying. Two people behind us had come solely to see the Chodees or whatever they were called and asked if they could slip in front of us for the set. They promised they were leaving right afterwards, so we let them in. True to their word they bailed as soon as the Chodeknockers ended their set. It was a wise move on their part, because the next "band" that came out was just absolutely horrible. They were called the Go-bots, which as everyone knows was the inferior rival of Transformers back in the 80s. [Ed. Actually, their name is Flobots]

This pix must be when Chiodos was playing since we're not on the front rail
(Picture from KFMA.com)

These Go-bots were far worse than the wannbe Transformers, though. Aside from a violinist, the band consisted of dudes who apparently sit around and watch CNN while smoking dope to inspire their "music," because the lyrics consisted of current events with "legalize weed" thrown in sporadically. They seemed to think that they were inspiring themselves and others to "make a difference," but I wouldn't be surprised if their motivation to change the world is routinely sidetracked via a bag of Funyons or a package of Hostess cupcakes. Apocalyptica was next, and they were straight-up awesome! I was really impressed with these guys, and they really pulled off a great performance and had an awesome vibe. They would spout of some lines like, "We are here to make the music heavy for you," and then would rip right into some heavy metal cello-ing (if that's not a word, it is now). They were just awesome. The crowd started getting noticeably more agressive when Apocalyptica came on and people started bailing over the rail here and there. Among them was a man who had apparently come to the show with Selena, his "pregnant girl." After he went over the rail, he refused to leave, because his girl was still in the mosh pit. He had multiple security guards yelling out "SELENA!" into a sea of thousands of people. It was comical and sad at the same time. I'm not even sure if there was a real "SELENA." I'm hoping not, because where she was supposedly at was no place for a pregnant woman to be.

When Scars on Broadway came out, it started getting pretty rough on the rail. They put on a totally forgettable performance, and I spent most of it trying to avoid getting smashed against the rail. People started bailing over the rail in large numbers. Out of all the guys who had camped out all-night, most of them had to bail before Metallica even came on, because the pushing and crushing effect of the crowd was so ridiculous. Super-Ron and Brad had made their way up to the rail by this point (if I'm not mistaken Ron was using some kind of magical teleportation power, since he kept magically appearing closer and closer to the rail every time I looked back).

When Metallica hit, the place was pandemonium, the crowd was pushing harder than at any show I've ever been to, and people were getting pulled over the rail absolutely non-stop. I had security guys' armpits on my face so often that I rarely got a good view of the stage. I can't count the number of times I was kicked in the head or had somebody dropped on my head. We were getting crushed against the rail far worse than anything I'd ever experienced, and, honestly, I thought that somebody was going to end up getting crushed to death at this show.

Unconscious fans were being pulled over the rail, other were trying to get out, but would get stuck half-way over the rail, because their legs were squeezed so tight by the crowd. Being on the rail was probably the worst spot to be at this show, because being crushed against a metal barricade is a lot worse than being crushed against another human. Of course, you could not convince some people of this, as there were several guys who were trying to shove their way up onto the rail. One guy, whom I'll refer to as Charles Manson Jr., even threatened to go back to his car and "get his taser and murder me." (Don't tase me bro!) He then told us that we were being a-holes for being up front, to which I responded with "We camped out all morning and have been in this same spot since the first band came on. You're trying to just show up, now, and push your way in. How are we the a-holes?" He put my in my place by replying, "I'll do what I want...WHITE BOY." (Note: I'm pretty sure my skintone was actually darker than his, for what it's worth.) The guy later apologized after I offered him some ice that the security guys had given me. He explained to me that he had "anger management" problems. I'm pretty sure at that point in the show, 99% of the people there were suffering from anger management problems due to being shoved, pushed, crushed, etc.

Jeff, Ron, and I persevered throughout the entire set, but I will be the first to admit that it was no picnic, and quite frankly, it was probably the least enjoyable Metallica show that I've ever been to, because of the behavior of the crowd. If Metallica ever plays another show in the middle of the desert with no crowd control, somebody remind me of KFMA day before I buy my tickets.

You can barely see me...
(Picture from Ross Halfin)

The Aftermath...

I got bruised up pretty bad on my hip bones from being crushed on the rail. In addition, right-side of my upper-right leg has been numb since the show. Sensation has been slowly but steadily returning to my leg, and while it never was an issue as far as running or walking goes, it is a bit unnerving (pun intended) to have limited feeling in such a large part of my leg. As of the end of July, I still do not have complete feeling back in my leg, and I still have visible marks on my hips from where I was crushed against the rail at this show.

The Good: Seeing Metallica for the first time since January '06; Apocalyptica

The Bad: McDonald's; People who camped out all-night having to leave before Metallica even went on stage

The Ugly: Pretty much everything else about the trip

Jeff, me and Ron -- what's up with Jeff's facial expression? Looks like he's gonna hurl...
(Picture from KFMA.com)